Yesterday was awful. emotionally, mentally and with my kids.
Today started off rough. Kid wise they have been acting up a lot. I was at my wits end and wanting to pull out my hair. But, after some discipline and talking to, they really worked on their attitudes and we ALL had a better day.
For a lot of you guys, this is going to sound crazy but, I did stuff today! normal human things like, got dressed, drove to the store WITH the kids, cleaned both bathroom AND made dinner. Ok, it was just mac n cheese BUT, I haven't "cooked" in a LONG time.
So, yesterday at my appointment my doctor was really worried I needed to go back inpatient (I signed into a mental facility on the 8th of December and got out the 11th) When I was inpatient, the doctor took me off my medicine Celexa that I had been on since 2010. They couldn't up the dose without it affecting my heart. So, he put me on Zoloft. I was allowed to leave the next day. (I was NOT ready but, with the holidays and all I wanted OUT). So, from the 9th until yesterday I was on Zoloft. And I was obviously miserable. Angry. WORSE then before. Yesterday Joe went with me and we talked to my doctor for a long time (He's awesome!) and he changed my medication to Fetzima along with anxiety and sleeping pills. Last night I didn't sleep well BUT, when I did, I had HAPPY dreams!!! YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT ALONE MAKES ME FEEL!!! I didn't wake screaming, or in a panic attack. It was glorious.
And, I started back crocheting. I have two blankets that need to be done soon and then, four more.
I guess that's all I got for today. I will keep you updated. Please pray I find and can get into (usually the wait is 4-6 weeks) to see a psychologist. And I'm also on the hunt for a good counselor.
Thank you to everyone who has been following and also everyone who is praying!
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