Here today, gone tomorrow

Hi again :)
I'm sorry for the lack of posting. I have days where I just cant do life. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with Christmas coming and just the holiday season in general.
So, I have had to remind myself,
"Cast all your ANXIETY on Him, because HE cares for YOU!" (1Peter 5:7)
So, as the gift making (I'm a Crocheter and am TRYING to make everyone's gifts. But I come from a LARGE family) continues I become more and more anxiety driven.
I also have a really bad head, chest, really yucky thing going on and I don't feel like doing anything at all. I'm trying to decide if it is because of the depression or being sick.
As far as my PTSD right now, I cant tell at all if the new medication Zoloft (daily) and klonopin (as needed 3xs a day)is actually working or not. I don't feel suicidal! that's a plus! I am smoking more (YES, I smoke. Yes, I know its bad and YES, I've tried the vapor (gave me pneumonia twice!) and I've tried patches and gum. BUT, MY DOCTOR SAID DON'T STOP COLD TURKEY! as MANY have told me to do. I am working on a plan with HIM (The doctor!). Sorry for the rant, I get a lot of  "advice" from well, everyone.

Ok, I'm sorry. Had to get that off my chest :P
So, as far as my treatment goes I am set to go to my initial appointment with a physiatrist on the 6th. My overall mood has been pretty crappy. But, again I think for this time of year that triggers me I am doing better then I usually would.

I have to say my husband has been my rock. I don't know if I was in his shoes if I'd put up with someone like me. He has been such a support and such an encouragement to me. And the BEST dad as I have been slacking in the mom role. I cant even explain to you how much I love that man!

I will end with this:
1 Peter 3-9
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.