A little about PTSD

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like Eagles; the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"
Isaiah 40:31
I haven't shared my whole story yet. And I'm not sure when I will. But, Today was a day full of a PTSD issues. First off, I want to get you up to speed on what has happened the last few weeks. Because of the trauma I went through, This time of year (while it is by far my favorite weather wise!!) hits me like a train wreck. Memories flood back, nightmares come back worse and my emotional state is just "iffy" at best. So, my husband and I tried a few things. Like me getting back into crtotching. Which I absolutely love! And of course we are seeking God through this and praying. But, Sunday it all came to a huge crash and I was self admitted into the mental institution. I hated almost every second. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to express myself and I didn't want to open up about painful, excruciating things from my past. I was talked to, evaluated, listened to, cried with and now that it is over, I'm glad I went. Now, back to today. I was put on new medications (because the high does of my last antidepressant could've hurt my heart) the new one is stronger, I cant be alone for awhile until we see how it affects me. Dr. Phil (not his real name, he just looked like him! haha) also gave me other medications to help me when I have a panic attack and also medication to help me try and sleep. I'm telling you now, people whom don't suffer from PTSD, will never understand the dreams, fears and paranoia we live with. Night becomes an evil world of wars between goof and evil. I'm rambling again. Sorry.
Today I was with my Step Mother in-law all day. it was seemingly a good day over all but, I was certainly feeling the intensity of being around people. AND to make matters worse, my new medication makes me look like a drunk person from the outsiders view. Its bad. I am sleepy and tend to have coordination issues. So, Today was long, and emotional and I am to the point where the only place I want to be is in bed. BUT, the doctor said it shouldn't have such rough wide affects in a few weeks.
So, today I ask for prayers for good sleep.
Also, I need a good Christian counselor whom I can be brutally honest and share openly in detail.
Pray for my family and friends whom just don't understand this disease.
And most of all my children. Pray I am able to talk to them but have the right words to say.
Thanks Friends!