side affects

I'm terrified.
I am on new medication and it's working! But, the 2nd week includes an increase. Which means I have to readjust to the side affect. The only one I have has been... Being sleepy.
While many of you would love that, and enjoy falling asleep and all, I am terrified. I can't drive because I fear I'll crash and kill people. I also try and wait and not take it if it's close to the boys being home since, I want to be aware of my boys and spend quality time with them.
I also have a fear of FALLING asleep. I don't know why. But, I HATE the feeling of, oh, wait, there it is! loosing control. If I'm asleep I cant control my dreams or what happens around me. I will do anything to make myself stay awake. Especially if I am alone. I will literally do anything to make myself stay awake. When Joe gets home (Poor guy has had to do everything driving wise! :( I feel AWEFUL about this. ) I finally feel "safe" and can sometimes go lay down and sleep. Other times I have to wait for him to actually be IN the bed next to me to calm down enough to close my eyes.
I know part of this is due to what happened in my past. I know that some is because I had so many surgeries and of course they use their magic to make you sleep. (I hate that!!)
I'm trying to come to the place where I TRUST God enough to let this go. But, y'all, it's hard. I guess I'm lacking the faith to let my fear GO.
This is where I am today and I'm praying that the medication has been in me long enough that I can actually drive tomorrow.
Thank you again for your prayers. I appreciate you. I appreciate your prayers. I'm glad God has brought you here to support me through this journey.